Ole Parrot Lungs

I always wanted a cool nickname, and I finally got one.

Jon had bought some tickets to Jim Norton’s show at the Addison Improv over the summer, and the show we went to was last night.

It ended well.

“Well,” is French for leaving in an ambulance.

It all started with not seeing the elevator. It turns out that this club is on the 2nd floor of some building, and so the night started with hikin’ up some stairs.

So, we get to the doors of the club and the doorman asks us if we want to sit in smokin’ or non, we say non, and he jokes about how it doesn’t really matter. He mentions how once a couple of people start smokin’, and it just gets smokey pretty fast. I told him they’d probably end up callin’ 911 later, and we laughed, but deep down in my soul… I knew it was gonna happen.

Anyway, so, I thought we were gettin’ takin’ to the non-smokin’ area, and he sits us at this table with 6 people that we ain’t even know, and I think 4 of those people were smokin’. Whatever, the point is that like every other person around us was smokin’.

There were a couple times durin’ the show where I kept tellin’ myself to just get up and leave, but I never did cause I’m an idiot. You’d think after all these times I’ve been to the hospital, and been on ambulances that I’d stop being a complete idiot.


I just sat there, and finally turned around and got Jon’s keys to go get my breathin’ machine out of the car. Of course, I didn’t remember where we parked, annnnd I wasn’t exactly in a good condition to go on an adventure around the parkin’ lot lookin’ for the car. So, the doorman from earlier saw me, and I gave him the keys and cellphone to try and find the car, but he eventually just had to get Jon.

Jon brings the car around, we get my breathin’ machine, head back up to the club so I can sit down in the A/C and plug-in my machine, and I take a couple breathin’ treatments.

The attack itself wasn’t all that bad, but the situation wasn’t umm… good. The attack wasn’t some crazy severe attack, but I had initially told them not to call 911, but after a couple breathin’ treatments I wasn’t a whole lot better, and I was kinda havin’ some anxiety symptoms compound on top of the asthma soooo I told Jon it was just a better idea to call 911.

The point is, folks, is that cause this was at Jimmy’s show and Jimmy is on the O&A; show, I’ve been immortalized forever on the O&A; show, ok. I’m a celebrity now, and the movie deals should start rollin’ in.

Club Soda Kenny calls the show…

That’s me, I’m ole parrot lungs. Yeah man!